


Don't you know, dear? Demons can't love

by JoyfulOmens (IDontHaveACleverQuip)



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Asexual Aziraphale (Good Omens), Asexual Crowley (Good Omens), Beta Wanted, Fluff, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), M/M, Not Beta Read, Not Sex-Repulsed, Post-Armageddont, Pregnant Crowley (Good Omens), They both invented cheesy romance novels, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-08-11 17:44:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20157562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IDontHaveACleverQuip/pseuds/JoyfulOmens
Summary: Demon’s can’t love. It’s common knowledge! So then, why is Aziraphale so certain that Crowley does?Tags to be added as the story progresses.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First time writing for Good Omens too, I love this series _so much_! Been talking about it a lot on [Discord](https://discord.gg/G6vPRmn) if anyone would like to join me, also have a [Multi-Fandom Tumblr](https://joyfulomens.tumblr.com/) I've set up. Planning to post update alerts, drabbles and deleted scenes, answer questions and occasionally draw.

It's common knowledge that a thing such as love is beyond demons. That's not to say the human understanding of love in general; demons can lust and covet, which for most humans can be near-indistinguishable from love. But a demon could never love like an angel. They could never feel the joy and effervescence of love for all living things, nor could they love another entirely or selflessly.

Despite all angels knowing these simple truths, having them ground into the very fabric of their being, Aziraphale doubted. After the incident at the garden, and meeting a demon for the first time, how could he not?

Crawly had surely not felt love for the garden or Adam and Eve within it, and yet…Aziraphale couldn't help noticing, through the corner of his eye, the look of distress on the demon's face as they watched the two humans set forth into the world. The look would always vanish, replaced with a crooked smirk when Aziraphale tried to focus on it, leading the angel to assure himself it was only his imagination. Demons long for causing distress and mischief; Crawly was only lamenting the fact they could no longer torment them in the garden. That's a demon for you after all.

And yet, he doubted.

It was many years later when Aziraphale strengthened the nerve to speak to his superiors about the matter. Too much had happened for him to wish it all away. Any time he and Crowley met face to face the doubt had only grown, along with more feelings than he could bring himself to face given their circumstances. Though, perhaps...well, the Ineffable Plan _was_ ineffable! Perhaps this was his purpose? Was that even possible? To _love_ a demon?

Aziraphale did fear retribution if he were wrong, but how could something like love ever be wrong? Thus he had prayed to Heaven, and Heaven had responded.

"It's noble of you to wish to love the demon _Crowley_ as one of God's children." Gabriel had chided, almost fondly. "Unfortunately, we all know that demons are incapable of even the smallest virtues, least of all love."

"Well, yes, but–"

"Demons aren’t God’s children anymore, Aziraphale, you don't have to force yourself to try loving one. They don't deserve to know God's love again." Gabriel cut him off with a chuckle. "Your attempt was a valiant effort, but you know they can't comprehend it. Your job is to _thwart_ the demon, Aziraphale. Nothing more."

And Aziraphale had nodded and agreed. What else could he say? "I love him more than just another of God’s creations! And I do believe he feels the same. If I could only pursue this, perhaps we could _save_ him." No – he would have not only been laughed out of heaven, but possibly Fallen as well.

Even so, his doubt remained, and grew.

While alone, he doubted Crowley's actions, just knowing the other was far less trustworthy than he seemed any time they met face-to-face. While together, he doubted Heaven, for how could a being so clearly full of poorly concealed love and life as Crowley _not_ deserve to be loved as well?

The books were the final straw. London 1941, while not the _most_ embarrassing thing he'd ever done[1], it still ranked rather high on the list. He'd only survived it thanks entirely to his dear Guardian Demon[2], Crowley, who had swooped in at the absolute last minute to save the day just like he somehow always did.

Aziraphale could brush off the life-saving part easily enough; it did fit neatly into their Arrangement, after all. The books, on the other hand? The books he just couldn’t explain away. Even at his most doubtful of his long time friend, Aziraphale couldn’t doubt the rescue of his beloved books.

So the angel stewed, and pined for the demon. Knowing to try anything beyond what their arrangement entailed would be to risk the wrath of both Heaven and Hell. He couldn’t risk Crowley’s existence over the chance he might have misinterpreted! What if Crowley only wished them to be better friends all this time? Aziraphale would be the one going too fast _and_ risking both their lives! Then again, Crowley had definitely been flirting with him on more than one occasion, the angel was certain of it.[3] But what if, Aziraphale feared, _he_ didn’t actually love _Crowley_? What if it was only his angelic love of all living things enhanced by them being the only eternal creatures on Earth? Oh it was such a conundrum…one Aziraphale spent far too much time mulling over while left alone in his bookshop.

-

In the present, an angel and a demon were dining at the Ritz after an _almost_ Armageddon.

“Alright, what’s wrong?”

Aziraphale startled. A bite of the delectable dessert he’d ordered fell off his fork and back onto the plate below. He quickly set the utensil down and reached for a sip of his champagne. “Whatever do you mean?”

“I can _hear_ you thinking, angel.” Crowley tipped his sunglasses down a fraction giving Aziraphale the slightest glimpse at his golden eyes. “What are you worried about? The Earth is saved, Heaven and Hell will be leaving us alone for a while, and yet here you are, glaring at your dessert like it insulted your fashion sense.”

Aziraphale scoffed and latched onto the readily available distraction, “As if there is anything about my fashion to be insulted.”

“Right, of course, what was I thinking? You’re the epitome of style.” A full body eye-roll followed the sarcastic remark which, naturally, went unnoticed by Aziraphale. Crowley hadn’t spent 6000 years near enough stalking the principality to fall for such a simple deflection, though. “Come on then, what’s eating you?”

Aziraphale huffed and set his glass down, having 6000 years of his own experience dealing with the demon, and knowing the other would continue to question until he got his answers. It’s how he’d fallen after all.[4] “It’s nothing bad, my dear. It’s just...”

“Just?”

“Well...what are we?” Best to start slow. Aziraphale had no desire to scare his demon away, especially on the slight chance he had been misreading their interactions for centuries.

Crowley tipped his head in confusion. “An angel and a demon, I suppose. Unless I actually _have_ become an aardvark this time.” the demon gave a toothy smirk hoping such an old joke might lighten the mood. It didn’t, but a man-shaped being could try.

“No, no, I mean,” Incomprehensible gestures and slight arm flailing paused the discussion, and nearly knocked over their drinks, as Aziraphale tried to arrange his thoughts.

“You mean…” Crowley pushed, understanding the loss of words all too well.

“Us! Together. Are we- That is to say- Well we don’t _have_ to be, of course, but- I mean, I wouldn’t _mind_ persay, I’d just, uh- What I am _trying_ to say is- Oh, dear.” Aziraphale blushed deeply as he babbled, this was so much easier in his head.

Dawning realization and a shit-eating grin crept over Crowely’s face. 6000 years he’d waited, had they _finally_ matched speeds? “Aziraphale?”

“Yes?”

“Are you trying to say, what I _think_ you are?”

“...It’s, uh, well it’s quite possible.” Aziraphale was avoiding looking at his long time friend, but chanced a glance as he spoke, “What do you think I’m saying?”

“I think you’re saying, you _like me_.” Crowley leaned in closer than usual, his sunglasses slipped just a bit further down his nose allowing their eyes to connect.

“Oh, you know me too well, I’m afraid.” The angel smiled unapologetically.

“Known you for six-thousand years, angel.” Crowley smirked victoriously, leaning back in his seat once more.

"It has been a while, hasn't it?" Aziraphale questioned as he returned to his dessert. It was far too scrumptious, it'd be sinful not to finish. He could also use the sweet to counter the stress of what he knew he was about to do. They had tricked Heaven and Hell. They were their OWN side, just as they'd always been really, but could never openly admit. There was no point in secret keeping anymore.

The underlying fear of rejection remained, but certainly if Crowley saw him as nothing more than a friend they could remain that way. Aziraphale was well versed in hiding emotions as it were.

"Crowley," the Angel spoke again, shooting a somewhat guilty yet longing look at his counterpart. "I do believe it's more than _liking_."

Crowley shifted not so subtly in his seat. "What, uh, do you mean?"

Time to ‘bite the bullet’, to borrow an American expression. "Well…I do believe I love you."

No response.

Aziraphale felt a jolt of panic. _Had_ he been wrong all these years? He thought- Well Crowley _was_ a demon wasn't he...wasn't meant to be capable of love in the first place. Crowley had seemed so much more emotional than any other demons he'd heard about, though.[5]

"Crowley?"

Still nothing. The demon wouldn't even look in his direction, with his body tensed almost to the point he was sitting reasonably in a chair for once, and that was not acceptable.

"It's okay, Crowley." Aziraphale reassured, managing to mask his own drooping emotional state by focusing on his half cleaned plate. "I understand if you don't – or simply can't – comprehend it as it were but… Well it's still true. I love you so much, have for a while," A self depreciating chuckle escaped the ethereal being. The remains of his dessert wilted in the acceptance that it would not be eaten. The once fantastic food tasting like little more than ash with the growing dread that Gabriel and the rest of Heaven had been right. "You don't have to reciprocate, it’s enough knowing you care at all…Sorry I've ruined the evening. Perhaps we ought to sweep this little confession under the rug, as it were? Pretend it never happened! We can still be friends, right?" Oh he hopped so, he hoped so much. It might be painful to never have his feelings reciprocated, but loosing Crowley entirely was a thought he couldn't bear.

If the angel had taken the time to look at his counterpart again, he would've seen an incredibly vulnerable demon cycle through hope, fear, sadness and anger.

Through the entire speech, Crowley remained frozen in his seat unable to grasp any words that might soothe the being he'd loved from the very beginning. It hurt so much. To be offered what he'd always wanted, what Aziraphale had apparently wanted to, then have it taken away again. Hearing the depreciation and fear in his angel's voice was more than Crowley's slightly inebriated mind could take.

"As if you could ever be rid of me." Crowley hissed, gaining Aziraphale's attention seconds before he was straddling the other’s lap.

"Crowley! What on earth are you-!"

Anything more was silenced with a very abrupt kiss.

Well, less of a kiss, more like a crash between two faces. It was definitely not the most _romantic_ gesture they had ever shared together and both rebounded seconds later, clutching a bruised nose and lips respectively.

"Good lord, what was that for?"

"I was working in the moment! Not my fault you turned your head the wrong way."

"You could have warned me first, you know. Why even-? Was that supposed to be a kiss?"

"Shut up!"

Aziraphale paused at the catch all “I have nothing else to defend myself with but I don't want you to win” phrase. Crowley was still in his lap, now pouting like a petulant child and rubbing his nose. Aziraphale's lips were definitely bruised on his end, their teeth having clacked terribly. He could only imagine how Crowley had mucked it all up so badly, yet still came across so charming.

Before either man-shaped being noticed, they were laughing. Not small chuckles, but full on guffaws at each other. The pent up stress from the past eleven years finally started to unwind. It was over, and they had survived. The world had survived. _Their Worlds_ had survived.

Demonic eyes met angelic and an unspoken agreement was made.

"Bookshop?"

Crowley made to agree then flinched, the memory of flames and fear and his angel dead still to fresh. "Better not. How about my place?"

“After you, my dearest.”

**⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰**

1 An evening eating crepes in Paris with Crowley himself, after almost being decapitated, had sprung to mind as he faced down three different guns aimed at him point blank.[return to text]

2 Aziraphale was quite proud of that thought, and had spent the following weeks laughing about it to himself alone in his bookshop.[return to text]

3 Though, Aziraphale got the distinct impression Crowley wasn't always aware of his own flirtatious comments until they'd already slipped past his lips.[return to text]

4 And asking Aziraphale questions was significantly less threat to Crowley’s existence than asking God. So really, the angel might as well come clean now and save them both the trouble.[return to text]

5 Wasn't that a thought? Somehow Aziraphale had managed to not meet a single demon other than Crowley in all their years on Earth. Ignoring his time posing as Crowley for that farce of a trial in Hell.[return to text]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a writer who struggles not to prattle on and on, the footnotes in the book blew my mind and made me VERY happy, hopefully my own here aren't too distracting.
> 
> I went to post this a few days ago, hesitated, and then completely rewrote the ending there. I am SO much more thrilled with this version! Please review?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Crowley had a set idea of what they would be doing back in his flat, Aziraphale had harbored something far more carnal in mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote and rearranged this chapter like five times already. Just gonna post it and move along already, hopefully the next one gives me less struggles.

Crowley and Aziraphale had shared many slight kisses through the years. An apologetic brush over the knuckles after the Crucifixion, a gracious peck on the cheek during one of Shakespeare’s showings, and one ambitious time after crepes[1] a drunken, sloppily-laid press of the lips. So to say that the one they were currently sharing in Crowley’s flat was their _first kiss_ would be a lie. It was, however, definitely the first of its kind.

A simple dinner at the Ritz had not been enough to soothe the open fear of losing each other after the _almost_ end-of-the-world, not to mention their respective narrow escapes from oblivion. After seeing how their respective sides had tried to eliminate them, and due in no small part to Crowley's emboldened actions at dinner, it was like a physical force was driving them together.

Fear, relief, anxiety, anger, **_love_**.

Lips met in an impassioned collision, both angel and demon trying their best to express every crushing emotion at once. Their bodies continued the motion, holding each other as close as their corporations would allow.

Aziraphale found the whole exchange to be quite– _ineffable_. The angel mentally celebrated the fact they had no need to separate for air. 

Then Crowley pulled away. "Ah- Aziraphale?"

Now, as humans know all too well, unspoken agreements are rarely as clear to both parties as spoken ones. 

While Crowley had a set idea of what they would be doing back in his flat, involving kissing and romantic confessions shared in each other's embrace, Aziraphale had harbored something far more carnal in mind.

"What uh, exactly, were you planning here?" 

"I-I’m afraid I don't follow?"

Crowley’s eyes darted from Aziraphale to between them and back up again. "Making an effort are we?"

"Oh? OH!" It took less than a moment for the angel to register what Crowley meant and looked down at himself, a notable bulge in the front of his pants. "Ah... Were we not?" Oh he _knew_ he'd been over thinking this, _of course Crowley hadn't considered doing things the human way, stupid, stupid!_

As Aziraphale beat himself up, Crowley tried very hard not to panic. After all these years, he'd thought himself as the _speed demon_, to borrow a phrase, between the two. Now, he thought he knew exactly how Aziraphale felt when the angel told him he went to fast. Well that just wasn’t very fair was it? "N-no, No! I mean, ngk. I wasn't, of course, but I could! Never took you for the type to go for something so human, is all."

"Like you've any room to talk about human things. You go through genders like hairstyles," Aziraphale said.

Crowley took the opportunity for distraction and ran with it. "You know my hair is _always_ fantastic."

Aziraphale made to argue for the sake of it but, "Hm, you know, you're actually right?" Crowley had always been fashionable in every way. Well maybe not in Rome, but Aziraphale had found the complete touristy look on the usually perfectly on point demon to be one of his most tempting.[2]

Much to the angel’s continued amusement, his agreement only flustered Crowley more. Aziraphale could practically hear the argument now. "You're not supposed to agree with me! I'm a demon! Demons are always in the WRONG!" But the demon’s rosy cheeks and wide snake eyes were simply too tempting to wait for it. Aziraphale reclaimed Crowley’s lips in another glorious kiss that was still practically chaste in comparison to the previous.

"We don't have to do anything you don’t want to." 

A slightly forked tongue darted from the demon's mouth to lick his lips of lingering tingles from the intimate touch of an ethereal being. He considered his options carefully, or as carefully as one Anthony J Crowley ever did.

On the one hand, he wanted to continue kissing, very much so in fact. Perhaps even drag the angel to his bed for a round of snuggling before a well deserved nap. Aziraphale had never taken to sleeping, but the idea of tempting him into remaining all night while Crowley indulged in one of his own human-borne vices sounded magnificent. 

However, on the other, a certain piece of anatomy, that Aziraphale _definitely_ hadn't had an hour before at the Ritz, gave the impression that more than just snuggling would occur if they went to bed together. And that thought alone made Crowley both slightly giddy, and twisted his stomach in anxiety.

Oh Go- Sa- Somebody! Why was he freaking out? He- he'd tempted millions through Earth's history! And definitely tempted humans to all sorts of carnal desires with people they shouldn't. Granted it had only ever been a handful of times. Despite his devilishly good looks no matter what time in history or gender he presented, lustful temptations had never been Crowley's forte. He was far more equipped to handle temptations of envy, wrath, or sloth. The point was, he HAD used lust before. He knew what sex was, how it was done, all kinds of manners it could be done in. Crowley got the basic gist of it. Insert disk a into slot b. Simple!

But he'd never done it himself. 

Despite that demons supposedly couldn't love, a rhetoric shared by both Heaven and Hell, Crowley always found himself far more drawn to human's ideals of romance, such as sharing his "first time" with his one true love.[3]

Aziraphale waited patiently as Crowley parsed his thoughts. The rapid change of facial expressions was an indulgent treat thanks entirely to Crowley having lost his sunglasses earlier in their snogging session. When Crowley's face finally settled on something akin to embarrassed indignation, the principality decided it'd be best to snap him out of it.

"There's no rush, Crowley." The angel insisted, willing away the obvious problem the demon seemed to be facing.

It was absolutely adorable how Crowley sputtered indignantly as the bulge he'd been staring at disappeared. Despite Crowley’s penchant to strive for sex appeal, the angel found he wasn't actually surprised how very obviously uncomfortable the demon was when presented with the option. Aziraphale would never love him less for it. Even if he had hoped a little. Though Aziraphale had discovered the act of sex was quite enjoyable in the past, it was no more so than a good book and cocoa, or trying new dishes with Crowley. Certainly not something he couldn't go without if Crowley held no interest for it.

"Why'd you do that?"

"I can see how nervous you are," Aziraphale interjected sternly. 

Crowley’s nervousness seemed to grow upon being called out, until it was palpable. It was enough to make Aziraphale hesitate, if only a moment, wondering if he’d pinned the correct source of Crowley’s nerves in this. Crowley had yet to sober up though, and that was another thing. He’d be damned if he let the demon force himself into a sexual situation. “We're also not doing something like that when you’re still drunk and not fully capable of consenting.”

“Only buzzed," Crowley protested, "I _can_ sober up, you know.” he spoke the last part hardly loud enough to be heard. Why was he arguing this? Let Aziraphale call it off. Then Crowley could go on pretending he’d been totally into it and definitely _not_ about to panic. Nope, no panic whatsoever.

“I am _so_ sorry for jumping the gun my dear, just got a little carried away. Misread the situation you know, it happens.”

Crowley opened his mouth to protest again, despite his own better judgement. He’d do anything for his angel, if Aziraphale wanted him to! And yet, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little wary of having sex. He’d never been able to lie to Aziraphale, the angel always saw right through him, cheeky bastard that he was. Crowley’s mouth snapped shut and he fluctuated between a scowl and a pout eventually settling on a combination of the two. 

Aziraphale took this as the perfect opportunity to change the subject. “Now, I don't know about you, but a book and some cocoa does sound lovely, hmm?”

"...Can we still get in bed?" Crowley questioned, his earlier ideas for the night slowly returning to him. “You know…for sleep and all that.”

“Of course, darling.” 

A quick miracle into pajamas and a fresh mug of cocoa later found Aziraphale indulging Crowley's long held desire to snuggle the angel in his sleep. A book lay open in said angel's lap long forgotten in favor of watching his best friend (and possibly more) sleep.

“Ah. You know Crowley,” Aziraphale said. “I believe I do see the benefits of sleeping.” An angelic smile went unseen as he carded his fingers through Crowley's hair, enjoying the simple tactile pleasure of touching the demon after millennia of restraining himself. He had a feeling that things were going to get much more complicated as their interactions changed. But for now, it was peaceful and he was happy.

They were finally free of their chains, worry could happen later.

**⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰**

1 When emotions had risen too high due to the current state of world affairs and the almost discorporation of a certain principality. [return to text]

2 Which meant Aziraphale found it completely adorable, and had done his best to keep the demon by his side until they’d left Rome. [return to text]

3 Crowley would deny until the world ended for real that he'd actually gained a penchant for reading excessively cheesy romance novels of forbidden love. It would also never be spoken he'd written some himself, and had almost discorporated the first time he saw one of his own published works in Aziraphale's shop. Thank- Somebody, that he'd always used a pseudonym. As far as Aziraphale was concerned, Crowley didn't read books. Period. Exclamation point! [return to text]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can hit me up on [Discord](https://discord.gg/G6vPRmn) or [Tumblr](https://joyfulomens.tumblr.com/) for chatting! (I do work full time so please forgive me if it takes a lil while for me to respond, I do check messages daily but it sometimes takes longer than that to reply to em)
> 
> PLEASE REVIEW! Feedback motivates me!


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